So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We were destined to go to rehab together
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
