Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
