We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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