My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
