if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize