Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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