u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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