That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
