Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
