We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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