If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
