Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
