Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
