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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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