TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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