Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
