Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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