Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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