Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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