I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
All the doctor said was why
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
