I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
