Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
