Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize