I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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