You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my phone needs a breathalizer
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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