I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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