i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
