physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
so much tequila, so little girl.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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