I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
