If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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