haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
