Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
