also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
