It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
