You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
