I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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