Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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