Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
