He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
