he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
