Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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