At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
