can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
