Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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