6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
