i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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