I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
