New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
