and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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