She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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