two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just threw up on my dentist
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
