What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize