How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
