All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
