He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
