i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize