Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
