His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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