Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
