Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
