it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
