just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize