I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
