If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
