he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
