yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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