I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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