Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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