In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
