so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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